Thursday, September 30, 2010

My Alter

I have 3 blogs now!
This one is for my more girly and creative side
Psychology/Neurology is for my more serious and informative side
And the ramblings is for what it says; ramblings. They may be pleasant, they may be depressing, but read at your own will.

Anyways! I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things here on blogspot. I have two new favorite songs now; Teenage Dream by Katy Perry and Deuces by Chris Brown! I'm excited because I haven't really liked anything new that has came out in the past couple of years except for a few exceptions.
My day was pretty good, I talked to my mother about some issues that were going on inside of my head, and that really let a lot of stress out. I had to take a test in my American History class which I hoped I did well on! I really have an urge to go shopping.
Btw, I would like to introduce a few new trends this fall that I would like to try!

- 1970s hair! I love the 1960s and 70s anyways, so this is an exciting trend for me to try! I have the tools anyways, so it won't be a problem :)
- More feminine silhouettes! Yes! I love feminine things, and when this was introduced into the fall trends, I was very happy. I thought the 1940s, 50s, and early 60s were just so classy (Audrey Hepburn? Jackie Kennedy?). Those role models made me proud of my femininity.
- Flats! They have been in for quite some time now, but they never get old!! I have a ton as it is, but I want some more :D
- Mod! As I have said before, I love the 1960s, and bold prints and styles make me happy. I also love crazy and unique looking things, and let me tell you, the 1960s were superior for that.
- Natural/Golden makeup pallet - I never really liked bold eyeliner on me anyways because my hooded eyes made me look strange. I will definitely be looking forward to going home and looking through what I have in my makeup collection.
- Clogs? Perhaps. I like them okay, but weren't they popular back in the 90s? Retro? Wow, the 90s have become retro now!
- Low back/low necklines - I am getting to the age where I can actually wear these things! I think low back-lines and neck-lines are so sexy, and I would really like to go shopping to find these things!
Does anyone know where I can find things like this? Greatly appreciated!!

Well, that all I have to write for now, as I have to get home (I'm at my college computer room, bleh)!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Have You Ever Felt You Had Just Gone...

Insane? I feel that way all the time. I think I need to see someone to talk to. I'm so anxious and I can't stop worrying. Never. It's impossible for me. I stay awake at night because so many thoughts run through my mind, and they make me worry even more because I'm not sleeping.
So many problems, so little time.
I get so nervous, I start shaking. I actually have little interest in social interactions (even blogspot). I get so nervous talking to people, and that shows in how I present myself to people. I am what you call the wall-flower. I have low-self confidence, and I usually keep my eyes averted downward. I want to change that though. It feels as if there's a bubble around me, and it's getting smaller as time goes on. I yearn for social relationships, but I avoid them because they scare me. I know, this doesn't really help my circumstances talking about this, but I need to get it out. No one cares about anyone else's problems, right? Haha.
It's shit like that that makes me so inverted.
I care about people's problems. I listen to people all the time. But it seems as if I don't matter to them. It's as if I'm just there for comfort, but I can't have any problems. It intimidates them. It makes them less secure. But I have problems too dammit!! I need someone to listen to me and to understand me.
I'm not going to go into any more detail about how I think I'm crazy, because I'd rather not talk about that. Hypocritical, right? HAHA!! I want to talk about my problems, but then again I won't!
I don't know what I want. I'm confused. I want this, but then I don't want that.
While other kids my age talk about celebs and movies and rap singers, I like to talk about the weather and the news and other things most kids don't know or care about. I feel so alone.
And when I become interested in something "cool" like fashion, no one wants to talk about it! Maybe I have more information about fashion than they do? Idk.
Facebook is a crock of shit, isn't it?
You have 500+ people who don't give a shit whether you're happy or not. They only want you to make themselves look more popular. I add a lot of people because I actually give a damn.
Sorry for the rambling...
no one cares anyways, right? haha