Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Something I've Noticed...


About myself...
I feel as if I'm changing from being a nervous high-school kid into a secretly daring young adult, you know?
I want to try new things, I don't care what. When I was in psychology class, my teacher told us about the phases of our lives in which we wanted to experiment or we already knew who we were. Back then, I thought I knew who I was, you know? I was this pure, troubled, smart, tight girl who tried do dress her best. But now I'm beginning to feel that I need a change, and that I still need to search for what I can be. I'm still troubled because I'm scared of reaching out, but I'm also scared that if I don't take the chance, I'll regret missing it. I'm kind of dissapointed in myself because I thought I knew what I wanted and who I was, but I don't.
I want to try new food, try new experiences, try new clothes, try new everything! I'm scared I'll do something stupid though...
I'm such a worry-wart and I can never make up my mind on how I should think. Haha, but who does?
I'm ready to get out into life and experience new things and for people to just stop mentally limiting me on what I can and cannot do. Just because I'm a girl, just because I was born without a right hand, just because I'm short, just because I've never had the experience, and just because I'm young! For you adults, don't you remember when you were young? You wanted to experiment? I know most of you have grown wiser, but let us find out for ourselves what we want in life and how we want to get there. Please?
Another thing about my situation is that I live in a small town, and people tend to gossip and judge. Which in some ways, I don't care, but I also don't want to get myself into a place that will lose the respect of the people I care about.
I just don't know...