Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Have You Ever Felt You Had Just Gone...

Insane? I feel that way all the time. I think I need to see someone to talk to. I'm so anxious and I can't stop worrying. Never. It's impossible for me. I stay awake at night because so many thoughts run through my mind, and they make me worry even more because I'm not sleeping.
So many problems, so little time.
I get so nervous, I start shaking. I actually have little interest in social interactions (even blogspot). I get so nervous talking to people, and that shows in how I present myself to people. I am what you call the wall-flower. I have low-self confidence, and I usually keep my eyes averted downward. I want to change that though. It feels as if there's a bubble around me, and it's getting smaller as time goes on. I yearn for social relationships, but I avoid them because they scare me. I know, this doesn't really help my circumstances talking about this, but I need to get it out. No one cares about anyone else's problems, right? Haha.
It's shit like that that makes me so inverted.
I care about people's problems. I listen to people all the time. But it seems as if I don't matter to them. It's as if I'm just there for comfort, but I can't have any problems. It intimidates them. It makes them less secure. But I have problems too dammit!! I need someone to listen to me and to understand me.
I'm not going to go into any more detail about how I think I'm crazy, because I'd rather not talk about that. Hypocritical, right? HAHA!! I want to talk about my problems, but then again I won't!
I don't know what I want. I'm confused. I want this, but then I don't want that.
While other kids my age talk about celebs and movies and rap singers, I like to talk about the weather and the news and other things most kids don't know or care about. I feel so alone.
And when I become interested in something "cool" like fashion, no one wants to talk about it! Maybe I have more information about fashion than they do? Idk.
Facebook is a crock of shit, isn't it?
You have 500+ people who don't give a shit whether you're happy or not. They only want you to make themselves look more popular. I add a lot of people because I actually give a damn.
Sorry for the rambling...
no one cares anyways, right? haha

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