This is another idea I got from Secret Doors (I'm sorry I'm such a copy-cat). You have good ideas :)
If you really knew me, you would know that I'm scared of big dogs because of an incident that happened to my little cousin a few years back. My Dalmation Henry bit my little cousin (I think it was on accident) and broke his nose and tore his cheek up. Henry was put down.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have thousands of hopes and dreams that I wish I could accomplish. There's just too many.
If you really knew me, you would know how self-conscious I am. I always compare myself to others. I always feel as if everyone is superior to me.
If you really knew me, you would know how nervous I really am. I swear, I think I have an anxiety disorder. If I'm nervous enough, I start shaking or I go into an attack. Sometimes during these attacks I pull out my hair or I scratch my face. I roll up into a ball and cry.
If you really knew me, you would know that Chihuahuas and Boston Terriers are my favorite breeds of dogs.
If you really knew me, you would know that I once wanted to be a neurosurgeon. But I don't know anymore because I'm afraid it will get in the way of being the mother I want to be.
If you really knew me, you would know that if given the chance, I would probably win a French fry eating conests. I love French fries so much!
If you really knew me, you would know my deepest, darkest secret I have. Only one person knows about it, and I don't really plan on sharing it here.
If you really knew me, you would know I always contradict myself when thinking. It's extremely frustrating and I sometimes feel like going insane.
If you really knew me, you would know I have a strange obsession of insane asylums and mental disorders. It's just fascinating, all of it.
If you really knew me, you would know the detrimental things I have done to myself over the years. I do none of those things now, and I am actually trying to make my life more positive even though I do still get depressed from time to time.
If you really knew me, you would know that I love to write, and I almost never finish a working novel. I also write poetry.
If you really knew me, you would know that I had Hirschprung's Disease in the womb and had to be taken via C-Section to be flown in a helicopter to be operated on.
If you really knew me, you would know I was baptised Catholic. And during my baptism, I had this miracle "seizure" that basically cured me from the problems with Hirschprung's.
If you really knew me, you would know that I was a very outgoing child to the point I embarrased my parents :) Now, I'm not outgoing that much.
If you really knew me, you would know I think about anything and everything. I have my own philosophies and ideas.
If you really knew me, you would know I have a dream of coming up with a cure for epilepsy, and that I have even hypothesized on a possible cure.
If you really knew me, you would know that I am actually scared of horses. They are beautiful creatures, but they are so big! Also, male horses tend to bite my boyfriend's mom :O
If you really knew me, you would know that I still enjoy listening to B2K, NSync, Backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears because old music reminds me of my innocense and my childish happiness.
If you really knew me, you would know that I do care about people, I do care about my parents, I do care about everyone around me. I love people, but then I hate them at the same time because they can be so hurtful.
If you really knew me, you would know that I would probably be a very positive person and I love happiness. I love happiness so much, it makes me cry. But of course, actions are better than words...or thoughts...right?
If you really knew me, you would know that I hate the society of my generation. I think it's trashy and impersonal. I wish I lived in the 40s or the 60s.
If you really knew me, you would know that I look at other girls at the mall and get jealous (or envious?) easily. Hollister/Abercrombie looking chicks make me jealous.
If you really knew me, you would know that in spite of those "pretty" girls, I sometimes admire how different I am. I'm not skinny, but I am curvy, which I appreciate. I look at 1940s pin-up models and old feminine artwork and admire the women for their curves.
If you really knew me, you would know I want my own art room in my house. I want easels, a mannequin, paints, everything artistic in this room. I also want a balcony coming from this room so I can look out at the rolling hills and the sun. Maybe even see a Victorian house in the distance?
If you really knew me, you would know I have tried things and done things that I am not proud of, but I don't regret. We all have had a past and done things, right? We're only human...
If you really knew me, you would know that I have always wanted to be a cheerleader. I have tried out twice and didn't make it. Both times because I flunked the tryouts for being so nervous. I would just stop in mid-chant or cheer, when during the tryout week, I could do the whole thing really good! It makes me so mad :O
If you really knew me, you would know that I have a "Look Book of Beauty and Fashion". It's pink and has clippings from magazines that I read. I have thought about becoming an editor of a magazine before, or a fashion designer.
If you really knew me, you would know that I hate the word, "cunt". I find it extremely vulgar and distasteful. I also don't really like fuck, but I find myself saying it a lot. I also make up my own words for curse words. Fuck would be, "freakin' lunatic', or shit would be, 'shmonkey', or 'oh shoot a monkey'.
If you really knew me, you would know that...well, I've never really confessed this before...I carry the drawings of the cartoon characters I have created with me everywhere and I lay them out to look at them when I am alone. I am an only child, and I have always been a little lonely, but laying these pictures out make me feel happier and not so much alone. I consider them my friends. O.O I sound insane.
That was the finale. Please keep negative thoughts to yourself :)
Reyna @Glamor Glory! She gave me a "Versatile Blogger" award! That's so cool :D
Here is the award! You may take it to put proudly on your blog.
::Here are the Rules::
1)Thank and link back to who you recieved the award from (Moi)
2)Share 7 things about yourself!
3)Pass this along to 7 blogs you have recently discovered and enjoy.
4)Leave your recipients a note about the award you have generously given them :D
I really appreciate that, and btw, your name is very pretty :)
Okay, here's for the 7 things about MOI!
1) I absolutely LOVE thrill rides. Okay, I was watching Travel Channel one day, and a show about the nation's scariets and wildest rides came on. I so want to ride all of those rides. Yes, even the ones on top of that tower in Las Vegas. I love roller coasters, and I want to bungee-jump so bad!
2) I was born with my right hand smaller than my left. It was how God created me, you know? I can do anything anyone else can do :)
3) So yes, that makes me left-handed, and we all know one thing about left-handed people: they are creative.
4) I hate Hardees. Just looking at the menu makes me gain pounds. The smell of it. Ugh, I hate it. But I don't like most fast-food, so hey lol.
5) I really like recording songs and then making them sound like chipmunks. I think it's so cute! I also record little skits that I make and change them into chipmunk. I have done the chipmunk voice on me, my boyfriend, my mom, and my dad. It's quite funny.
6) I'm a freshman in college, and I go to a community college. I like it a lot, and it's very easy to cope with. However, I am looking very forward on going to the university!
7) I absolutely love sketch books, and you will probably always see me carrying one. This is where I create my cartoons and even my fashion designs. I have probably more than 10 sketchbooks over the past 8 years.
So for the blogs I follow...
1)Emily @Secret Doors - I love all of her photos and she has a lot to say that I can relate to. This is one of my favorite blogs!
2)Leslie Lacy @A Blonde Ambition - I've been reading this blog for about a year now, and I just absolutely LOVE the photos she has!
3)Tori Gabrielle @The Philosophical Adolescent - I love reading her blog because it's very interesting and she is beyond her years.
4)Anonymous @{this is glamorous} - Extraordinary photos that just inspire me in so many ways, it's overwhelming!
5)Anonymous @The Creative Mixx - I love this blog because it has some of the most craziest (in a good way) stuff on here!
6)Kaley @Something To Cheer About - A very cute blog with cute pictures!
7)Jami @i m a g i n e - Beautiful photos! I enjoy this blog very very much :)
And by the way, don't forget to check out Glamor Glory (Reyna's) blog! It's very cute and interesting!
So, it's already November...how crazy is that? It feels as if it should be June! Well, to end the year, I have decided to make a list of things I should do BEFORE January 1. Let's start, shall we?
1) Get extraordinary (yet inexpensive) gifts for the people I care about this Christmas. I may go to Claire's or Victoria's Secret for my girl-friends, and of course TRACTOR SUPPLY (haha!) for the guys in my life. Just get them tools, it'll be all cool :) Can't say for my parents though, because I never know if they check up on here or not.
2) Clean my room!! This request has been unfufilled for about 19 years. I want my room clean, but so much goes on it's just too easy to throw the school books aside onto my dresser.
3) Get decorative pillows! I've been wanting pretty decorative pillows for awhile now, but I'm just so picky! There's so many of them, but I almost refuse to choose because there's so many pretty ones. By the way, isn't Pier 1 Imports just a riot?? I almost hyperventilate watching the commercials!! I love that place :)
4) Become a better blogger. For me, this is sorta-kinda hard to do because of school, but blogging makes me happy, so why shouldn't I practice my blogging skills? Blog blog blog...
5) Dress the way I want to!! I really have many unique and different things in my closet, but I have a phobia of coming out of my comfort zone. I usually wear jeans and a comfortable (BUT it's cute, I swear) shirt. I hardly wear scarves or my UGGS because for some reason, I just prefer to be simple. Yet then again, I don't! >.< Grr!
6) Help a loved one come over stress and illness. Actually, this is my first priority resolution, but this list is not in order of priority. I want to be able to make this special person feel happy again. Enough where they can do what they want and not let depression/stress get in the way. I want to start cooking with them, and get them out of the house.
7) Become happier and healthy. I have been depressed too, and sometimes I need a self-pick-me-up. I need to learn how to do this on my own instead of just staying droopy all the time. Eating right and taking advantage of positive situations would help! Thank goodness Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up! My favorite time of year!
Those are some resolutions to accomplish by the end of December, and by then, I will have all new resolutions. What are your end-of-the-year resolutions? It's NEVER too late to have resolutions!!
I just deleted my 3rd blog, Audrey Colleen: The Thoughts and Ramblings. I merged those posts with this blog because keeping up 3 blogs are just too much. Thanks!
Also, I'm going to have a picture of the day :)
::Picture of the Day::
A blog I follow, Secret Doors, made a very good evaluation of how I feel everyday. When you look in the mirror, what do you think of yourself? Do you think, "Ugh, I'm so ugly: I need to get a nose-job, or a chin-job, or even get your hair done?" I do. And apparently, so do others. I was honestly relieved to know that I wasn't the only one. It's a perceptual thing, I know.
Did you know that people with Anorexia Nervosa perceive themselves to look 20% larger than they really are? With the studies of psychologists, they have realized with tests that by taking an anorexic patient and letting them morph a photograph of themselves on how they see themselves, their body is 20% larger. Isn't that something? The way we look at ourselves is very perceptual...so how I see myself is not how others see me. But how do I get myself to "get" that?
I look at myself in the mirror every morning. This is what I think:
1) Ugh, look at my hair...people say my hair is beautiful, but...my roots are coming in, and my natural color is a light brunette, which everyone loves, but I hate it. To me, my hair looks oily. My bangs don't fall in the right places (to me). My hair is too short (to me).
2) My eyebrows don't curve enough. I wish I had curvier eyebrows.
3) I have a double-chin!! Really? A double-chin? Ugh...
4) My body is too big... Look at my thighs, my arms, my butt... (But then again, when I see women in the 1940s or in old artwork, I appreciate my body because it is curvy in that way).
5) My right eye-lid droops lower than my left, ugh... but it makes me unique, right?
So I can see the good and bad in all of the "wrong" places about me, but why can't I see the good everyday? In different situations and clothing, I feel different ways. When I'm with my mom (who had the same body as me and was considered very pretty), or my boyfriend, I feel beautiful. I feel different from everyone else in a positive way.
But when I'm around the "popular kids" or the other really pretty girls, I feel ugly.
It also depends on clothes, too. This bothers me because I want to try new things, but when I get into them, I think...no, I can't do this I'm too scared. So I end up in jeans and a tee-shirt. I want to overcome this.
Also, when I talked to my psychology teacher about the problems I had with this, I told her how I felt that "everyone stares at me and judges me." She told me that it was only in my head and that it wasn't reality. But why is it hard for me to get that through? I feel as if it is reality, you know?
Why does being a teenage girl have to be so complicated? :O
With the self-evaluation questions that Secret Doors posted, I will hopefully learn to overcome this negative outlook. I am not going to post the questions here, as they are hers and not mine.
The store MaxRave?? I do! They have extremely cute and comfortably clothes for less! I bought this jacket from there, and it looks leather (around 100-200 dollars), but it was originall 24.99. With 50% off (another reason why I love MaxRave, they always have bargains!), it was 12.99!! Yay! I am going there for Christmas, when sales are in bloom.
Any ideas on what I could add to my site? This is for you! Have a happy Wednesday!
The love of my life, Troy and my mother! Yesterday was Troy's birthday, and he turned the big 20!! My mom...well, I'm not going to say how old she is, but her birthday is today! I love both of you!!
How was everybody's Halloween?? Did you dress up? If you did, what did you dress up as? I wanted to dress up, but I couldn't find a straitjacket, haha J/K! I dressed up at my school Thursday as a hippy! I had a San Fransisco sign and everything, thanks to my mother :)
Well, I also had a really GREAT weekend!! Friday night, my dad and I went to The Haunted Gin near where we live, and it was so fun! These two women behind us were laughing so hard, most of the things that were supposed to scare us made us laugh!
Then, on Saturday, my dad and I rode towards Memphis and went to Bolivar! Guess what's in Bolivar... a mental hospital...ooohhh, scary. If you didn't know, I am extremely obsessed with old mental asylums. Specifically Kirkbride Buildings, which the one in Bolivar was, but it had its wings demolished. If you are interested, I have a few websites that may be useful for the curious:
www.kirkbridebuildings.com
www.asylumprojects.org
Well, I hope ya'll had fun this Halloween!! Have a happy November :)
