Wow, it's been a while...

I'm sorry it's been so long since I have posted anything. I just haven't really been motivated to write much, I suppose. A few things have happened to me over the months I have had blogspotter's block!

I am now a beauty consultant for Mary Kay! I'm just now getting started, and I am still a little confused about the ropes, but hopefully in no-time I will be setting up parties and ordering regularly. I'm excited about this because I have been wanting to do something like Mary Kay for a really long time!

I am now a sophomore in college, yay! I haven't signed up for my classes yet, but I'm still majoring in psychology. This semester I'll finally get to take abnormal psychology, which I have been excited about since I even became interested in mental disorders.

I cut my hair (yes, I did it) a couple of months back to a pixie-cut just to see how I would look. I didn't like it very much, but now that it has grown out a little I like it a lot better. I want to grow it out really long now, which will take another year-and-a-half to do (sigh...)

My Tumblr blog has been in full-swing for a while now, and you can go to it here: www.penguindelight.tumblr.com
I have a special section for things that inspire me fashion-wise!

My dad and I had to move from "The Farm" to another house in town. I'm not going to go into detail why we had to move, but it was a very sad experience. I had been in that house since I was almost a year old. I still miss it very much, and I hope one day to maybe get it back.

And for the best part that has happened to me: I finally went to Athens, Ohio to see the Athens State Hospital! My boyfriend Troy took me for my birthday, isn't he the greatest?
Athens was absolutely magical. I felt like I was at home, even though Troy and I had never been to Ohio before. It made me so happy, and it all seemed to be a really good dream that I actually didn't wake up from! I can't believe the anticipation is over now, though. I've been wanting to go to Athens for more than a year now, and I can't believe I've finally gone. It was all just too good to be true. I will have to post the picture I took soon after I transfer them from my camera to the computer. The Athens State Hospital (now the Kennedy Museum of Art) is a gorgeous building that has been taken care of fairly well by Ohio University. I was happy with that they have done to the place. We went into the art museum, and I was also satisfied to see that they had a plaque dedicated to the past of the building. It was originally a mental institution built under the Kirkbride Plan, and back in the day it was called the Athens Lunatic Asylum. I will be completely honest with you, I hardly looked at the art (although the jewelery and some paintings caught my eye). I was too busy looking around the building trying to imagine the bustle and mental air that was carried around the place when it was still a hospital. I wondered what each room was used for, and I was very tempted to pass the velvet rope that separated the unused part of the asylum to the renovated. I didn't though. After we walked around inside, we found the well-known cemetery on the campus and went a little ways down "The Ridges" nature trail. I almost cried just thinking of the reasons why those people were put into the asylum and all of the mental anguish they must have went through. The town of Athens was absolutely beautiful, and there was so much to do! I plan to go back again one day.



I noticed a comment from Arcadian that asked whether I have experienced anything paranormal. Yes, I have actually!

When I was eleven, my cousin Jessica and my aunt Cindy (both from my mother's side) came to visit us over the summer, and they both slept in my room with me. Well, I had this little porcelain rose jewelery-box that played, "My Favorite Things", when you opened it. During the early morning before Jessica and Cindy were going to go back home (maybe around 3:00-3:30 am), the little jewelery-box started playing the tune out of nowhere. We turned on the lights, and the box was open too! It wasn't any of us because we were all really groggy from being woken up from the music playing. My mom decided that it was my grandmother (her and Cindy's mother) who opened the jewelery-box to tell us that she was watching over us, and that she was happy that we were all together.

Then, when I was about eight or nine, my best friend at the time Crystal was over to spend the night. We were watching a Bugs and Daffy cartoon, and through the middle of it, it suddenly stopped and started rewinding. It was very strange.
All of this makes sense because we lived near a couple of cemeteries. My mom always felt a presence in the kitchen (as did I), and I always felt a presence in my former bedroom (before my dad and I switched rooms, and before we moved).

By the way, I am still going to be doing the Wednesday of Randomness segment!

Quote of the Day:
I have the chance of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or, I can go mad by ricocheting in between. - Sylvia Plath


*picture credit: Athens State Hospital by gb_packards on Flickr.

Breast Cancer Awareness Was Last Month...

But this month, it's Epilepsy Awareness Month!
If you don't know what epilepsy is, it's a seizure disorder. I don't have epilepsy, but I became interested in it one day when I was looking through my mother's 1970s medical book. It seemed so alien, almost like schizophrenia, and I am attracted to that kind of stuff. I want to help people with epilepsy and schizophrenia, so I might go into medical research, I'm not quite sure yet though, you know?

Show your support on epilepsy and wear a lot of lilac/lavender!



Here's the link to the Epilepsy Foundation of America:

www.epilepsyfoundation.org

Anyways, have you ever felt like one day you knew exactly everything you were going to do, and then the next you have no idea? That's how I feel. Since I was 4-5 years old, I have always had my mind set up on the medical field. First, it was a "brain doctor", then when I was about 6 or so, I wanted to be a "kidney doctor" or a nephrologist. About 7th grade, however, I read about epilepsy and became fascinated with it! I decided from then on out I was going to be a neurologist. Then that changed from neurologist to neurosurgeon. Then to a neuroscientist. Something neurological anyways.
A couple of years ago was when I then set my mind on being an architect, but with still the intentions of being a neurosurgeron. I stayed on the internet all the time looking up old Victorian houses and abandoned buildings. I have always had a fascination on skyscrapers since September 11, 2001, and I thought that since I had a passion for it and I had good art skills (but my math skills suck, haha) I could be an architect! When I looked even further into my architecture exploration, I found abandoned insane asylums. Yes, that's where my newest obsession originated. Last year around this time to be in fact. I read more into these abandoned asylums, and it had a strong connection to my love of everything neurological. Except with a twist: psychiatry. Ever since then I want to be a psychiatrist and focus on schizophrenia and disassociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder).

Except, ever since I graduated from high school, I've been finding that I like other things too. I might want to be an artist, or a fashion designer, or a magazine editor, or a cosmetologist. Who knows?

That's the history of my exploration of career choices, and is it in no way ending soon :)

Also, instead of a picture of the day, I'm going to have a song of the day! Please, if you can, listen to the songs! Some you may like, some you may not like.
I also have an item of the week where I'm going to take pictures of something I have. Comments are appreciated!

What are your career plans? Are you still trying to make up your mind? Are you utterly confused?

::Song of the Day::
She Used To Be My Girl - The O'Jays



nail polish: estee lauder, photo: we<3it, lavender dress: charlotterusse.com

This Post Got Me to Thinking...

A blog I follow, Secret Doors, made a very good evaluation of how I feel everyday. When you look in the mirror, what do you think of yourself? Do you think, "Ugh, I'm so ugly: I need to get a nose-job, or a chin-job, or even get your hair done?" I do. And apparently, so do others. I was honestly relieved to know that I wasn't the only one. It's a perceptual thing, I know.
Did you know that people with Anorexia Nervosa perceive themselves to look 20% larger than they really are? With the studies of psychologists, they have realized with tests that by taking an anorexic patient and letting them morph a photograph of themselves on how they see themselves, their body is 20% larger. Isn't that something? The way we look at ourselves is very perceptual...so how I see myself is not how others see me. But how do I get myself to "get" that?



I look at myself in the mirror every morning. This is what I think:
1) Ugh, look at my hair...people say my hair is beautiful, but...my roots are coming in, and my natural color is a light brunette, which everyone loves, but I hate it. To me, my hair looks oily. My bangs don't fall in the right places (to me). My hair is too short (to me).
2) My eyebrows don't curve enough. I wish I had curvier eyebrows.
3) I have a double-chin!! Really? A double-chin? Ugh...
4) My body is too big... Look at my thighs, my arms, my butt... (But then again, when I see women in the 1940s or in old artwork, I appreciate my body because it is curvy in that way).
5) My right eye-lid droops lower than my left, ugh... but it makes me unique, right?

So I can see the good and bad in all of the "wrong" places about me, but why can't I see the good everyday? In different situations and clothing, I feel different ways. When I'm with my mom (who had the same body as me and was considered very pretty), or my boyfriend, I feel beautiful. I feel different from everyone else in a positive way.
But when I'm around the "popular kids" or the other really pretty girls, I feel ugly.
It also depends on clothes, too. This bothers me because I want to try new things, but when I get into them, I think...no, I can't do this I'm too scared. So I end up in jeans and a tee-shirt. I want to overcome this.

Also, when I talked to my psychology teacher about the problems I had with this, I told her how I felt that "everyone stares at me and judges me." She told me that it was only in my head and that it wasn't reality. But why is it hard for me to get that through? I feel as if it is reality, you know?

Why does being a teenage girl have to be so complicated? :O

With the self-evaluation questions that Secret Doors posted, I will hopefully learn to overcome this negative outlook. I am not going to post the questions here, as they are hers and not mine.

Have You Ever Felt You Had Just Gone...

Insane? I feel that way all the time. I think I need to see someone to talk to. I'm so anxious and I can't stop worrying. Never. It's impossible for me. I stay awake at night because so many thoughts run through my mind, and they make me worry even more because I'm not sleeping.
So many problems, so little time.
I get so nervous, I start shaking. I actually have little interest in social interactions (even blogspot). I get so nervous talking to people, and that shows in how I present myself to people. I am what you call the wall-flower. I have low-self confidence, and I usually keep my eyes averted downward. I want to change that though. It feels as if there's a bubble around me, and it's getting smaller as time goes on. I yearn for social relationships, but I avoid them because they scare me. I know, this doesn't really help my circumstances talking about this, but I need to get it out. No one cares about anyone else's problems, right? Haha.
It's shit like that that makes me so inverted.
I care about people's problems. I listen to people all the time. But it seems as if I don't matter to them. It's as if I'm just there for comfort, but I can't have any problems. It intimidates them. It makes them less secure. But I have problems too dammit!! I need someone to listen to me and to understand me.
I'm not going to go into any more detail about how I think I'm crazy, because I'd rather not talk about that. Hypocritical, right? HAHA!! I want to talk about my problems, but then again I won't!
I don't know what I want. I'm confused. I want this, but then I don't want that.
While other kids my age talk about celebs and movies and rap singers, I like to talk about the weather and the news and other things most kids don't know or care about. I feel so alone.
And when I become interested in something "cool" like fashion, no one wants to talk about it! Maybe I have more information about fashion than they do? Idk.
Facebook is a crock of shit, isn't it?
You have 500+ people who don't give a shit whether you're happy or not. They only want you to make themselves look more popular. I add a lot of people because I actually give a damn.
Sorry for the rambling...
no one cares anyways, right? haha

WARNING: Long post about the fashion of the last decade!

Well, today has been a really tiresome day, but it is much easier to think of a topic for this blog than it is for my new blog! Wait, I haven't told ya'll about that. I made another blog yesterday titled: In the World of Neurology and Psychology!

Web address is: http://www.neurologyandpsychology.blogspot.com/

I made this blog because I one day either want to become a doctor in the fields of neurology and psychology...duh lol.

Anyways, so today's blog is going to be about my top favorite trends in the past DECADE!! and my least favorite...

My Least Favorite:

The Gladiator Sandle-Boots (2009) - I did NOT like these, they were gaudy and made many outfits look bad.

The Crocs (2004-2005) - They were cute at first, and I loved them when nurses wore them, but then EVERYBODY started wearing them. Even little kids, and it was almost like Twilght. It got rediculous. They started making boots, tennishoes, furry crocs, you name it!

The SUPER Skinny-Jeans (2007-2009) - Nah, did not care for these much. Regular skinny or boot-cut jeans are ok. I like them, but I thought the super skinnies were unflattering.

The over-done, gaudy black heels (2009) - I cannot stand this look. It is everywhere! The huge black heels with the wide straps and studs everywhere looks akward and unfeminine to me. I also don't like it when I see girls wearing them with the cutest dresses. Totally ruins the outfit for me.

The Zippered Leggings (2009) - These...I don't really know what to say except they seem very unfeminine and unflattering to any outfit. I especialy don't like the ones that are sequined or metallic, eck!

The Acid-Washed Jeans (2008-2009) - No. Just no.

Midriff-Bearing Tanks (2000-2002) - Eh, even though I was very young when this was popular, I would feel inappropriate wearing it now, and things have changed since then.

MUDD Jeans (2000-2003) - Not very appealing to the butt. They always made my butt and my thighs look saggy.

The Hollister/Abercrombie Phenomenon (2005-2008) - I'm sorry, but even though I have a few things from these places, I HATED this stage! Too many girls wore this stuff, especially the teeshirts with the logo or the name IN BOLD PRINT OR HUGE. Now Abercrombie is too expensive for anybody to buy anymore and Hollister is not seen (or at least by me) as much. Plus Abercrombie gives me a migraine everytime I go in there, pew!

The Sex Bracelets (2000-2004) - Now who remembers these? I do, but I never wore them for ahem, sex. Eh, I used to wear these in my "punk stage". That stage of my life is not one of my favorites. Plus they made an outfit look lazy.

The Skinny, Barbie-Doll Look (??) - No offence intended to the girl in this picture, she is very pretty. BUT, to be frank, I was very tired of seeing girls that looked like this all over the internet and TV. It seemed like a craze, and many little 12-year-old girls would use these pictures and say, "iM sO hOtt!" in the uppercase/lowercase font that they used.

The Orange Skin Trend (2009) - Ugh is all I can say really...

My Most Favorite

Boho Bags (2007-2008) - They were so cute, and I could fit EVERYTHING in them! The only problem I had with these were that in the hallways at my highschool, girls who had them hit everybody with them, lol.

Uggs (2004-2008) - I know, I know. I hear a lot of people who say they hate these, but I love them. I have a pair. They go with many of my winter outfits, and they are just darn comforitable! The only thing I HATED was how girls wore them in the summer. Omg, come on...you have flip flops!

Floral Statement Necklaces (2009) - I absolutely loved these! I think they are adorable (with the right clothes of course) and they look so feminine.

Flats (2007-2009) - One word: LOVE!!

The Victorian/Vintage Look (2008-2009) - I am absolutely crazy about history, and seeing shirts and dresses replicate the vintage styles is a big plus for me!

Subtle-Glatiator Sandles (2009) - Unlike the high-kneed Gladiators, I loved the flip-floppish gladiators. I loved how some of them were beaded or sequined, and I loved them with dresses.

Distressed Jeans (2007-2009) - I loved these, and they looked so cute in the summer. Not very good for winter though. I have a few of these. I kind of got out of this trend in early 2009 because of the economy (very expensive), and now I realize I can just make these myself.

Sperrys (2008-2009) - God, I love these shoes. They are so comforitable, and I wear them everywhere!

Hottie/Princess/Angel Shirts (2000-2002) - Loved these when I was younger. I had a lot of labeled shirts. Also, I don't think I'd really want these back, but I had fond memories of this trend.

Patriotism Fashion (2001-2003) - Go America! I had a lot of this.

Leggings (2007-2008) - I loved them in the winter time under dresses and skirts, but when people actually started wearing them as pants...uh, no.

The Giraffe Purse (2008) - Who can forget these? People still carry them! I loved mine, and my mom also had one that I was crazy for!

Long Hair (2007-2009) - I finally have my hair long, yay! I also like the long hair trend straight, wavy, curly you name it!

The Maxi-Dress (2009) - I really liked these. They were flowy and light, and I would especially wear one to the beach. I wouldn't much care wear one to the mall though.

Sorry this was such a LONG post! I just wanted to throw that into the open! Also, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone, these are just my opinions.

What were your favorite trends? Your least? And are there anymore trends that I have forgotten?